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| ZAELON |
Picture this, it’s 4am, the alarm clock rings,
you pick it up and throw it across the room, as you do every morning and it
lands on the floor still ringing, it’s time to go to work, you walk across the
room, pick the clock up, turn it off and set it down on the bedside table, you
walk to the window draw the curtains and look out, to find it’s raining cats
and dogs.
You know this because of the meowing and the
barking as they go past, to land on the ground with a howl.
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| Oh you have to be joking! |
With this you think, it’s going to be a
strange day, you go into the bathroom, lather your face pick up your razor and
have a shave, then you wash your face and get soap in your eyes, you
immediately bend down to pick up the towel off the rail and bang your head on
the bathroom cabinet above, with a howl and cursing the cabinet you wipe the
soap out of your eyes and off your face, while turning and stubbing your toe on
the toilet bowl, you hop around the bathroom like a kangaroo, swearing and
shouting, you hobble back into the bedroom, cursing and get dressed.
You go downstairs to the kitchen to make
breakfast, you decide to have toast with coffee, while making the coffee the
toast begins to burn, you grab the toast out of the toaster, burning your
fingers as you throw it into the bin.
It’s now 4:45am, you grab your car key fob and
keys, wincing with the pain of burnt fingers, go out to your car and press the
Key fob to unlock the car, the doors unlock and immediately the car alarm goes
off, you press the fob again to silence the alarm, it stops, then starts again,
you press it again and it stops, you get in, put the key in the ignition, turn
the key, the engine fails to start and the alarm goes off, again, pressing the
key fob stops the alarm and proceeds to lock all the doors while you’re in the
car and can’t get out, you panic and press the fob again to unlock the doors,
the doors unlock and yes, the alarm goes off, it’s now 5:00am and lights are
being switched on in the houses along the road, you try frantically to turn it
off, at last it stops, you turn the key again and the engine starts, you
breathe a sigh of relief and start to move off into the middle of the road and
yes, the alarm goes off again and the engine stops. You grab the fob and start
pressing it, all the doors lock; it’s now 5:15am.
But now you’re stuck in the middle of the road
not being able to move and half the road is up and out wondering what the
racket is, one of your neighbors comes over to your car,
he’s built like a gorilla, you gingerly wind your window down he snarls “FIX
IT” you explain what is wrong and he snatches the key fob from you and presses
it, the doors unlock and the alarm stops, you get out and stand there in
bewilderment and thank your neighbor, with a growl he turns and walks away.
